Losing Myself in Trying to Date

Here is my end of the year review for 2019 for dating. I have gone out with over 20 guys, about 12 or 13 just this year. I am still single. It is so hard when I really want to be married but nothing ever works out. It's bad first dates, rejection, or guys who end up not having feelings for me or liking other girls. The guy this past Friday talked about being exclusive with me while also saying there was another girl he wanted to go out with! I called him out on his crap. I have rejected nice guys too. I am hoping I am learning more about myself and what I want. I hope 2020 is better in that regard.

Christmas

Wednesday is Christmas! This is the first Christmas in 3 years I have been well health-wise. Last year I had my horrible sinus infection during California Christmas. I never get to spend Christmas with the Albanos and Pete and Aggie and my misery ruined it. Here's to a better holiday this year. Luckily they have forgiven me for my crankiness in California last year. I am grateful for good health!

The Next Steps

Only one more week left of Summit and Lumen until winter break! Two weeks of sleeping in! It's funny how lack of sleep affects you. So I really wanted to be the NSLC program director for the middle school U.S. history/government program next summer. However, it's almost the end of December and I haven't heard anything so I assume they gave it to someone else or they're doing something different. I, for one, am rather sick of the disorganization. I am either going to apply to be a program lead for Envision Experience next summer or stay in Utah. If I stay in Utah, I am going to apply to be a teacher supervisor at Huntington Learning Center. At least then I could be making some more money now. I will update!

Grandpa

Friday was Grandpa Norregard's birthday. I miss him so much and I still think about him everyday. He truly was a man of Christ although he was never a member of the church. He was one person who was always there for us. When my parents divorced, he was there to hold us together. He always supported my dream of working with animals. I know he is with Leanna's babies right now as they prepare to come down to earth.

Nearing the end of the year

Katie and John went home today. It was nice having her home for about a week. Thanksgiving went well besides my dad being drunk the whole time. We went and saw the temple lights with Leanna, Katie, and John yesterday. It is officially December! There is so much to do. I start back up again at Summit as a clerical aide tomorrow. It will be nice to be making some more money. I also need to buy Christmas presents. Friday is Grandpa's birthday so I will write about him next week.